i don't get it

1 John 3:21-22...Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight.

Does your life walk validate this verse? I believe that my heart is upright. I do not live in condemnation. The condemnation that John is talking about is loving our brother. If we are living in perfect love then we can pray with confidence, under the full assurance that we get what we pray for.

I do not get it. My experience with prayer is not this one. So I must conclude one of two things, 1. it is not true or 2. I do not understand the meaning of the verse.

In the past I would have assumed that something was wrong with me. I would have thought, that I am living in a lie. I would have thought that there must be some hidden sin in my life. I would have prayed and sought and confessed and beat myself. Another road I would have taken was to ignore this verse as some complex mystery. I would not have sought to hold God accountable to His word. But now I look at it as a mystery; something deep and complex waiting for me to find meaning and life in. I see this verse and am drawn to know and experience it.

I imagine the disciples were a bit like me. When Jesus came to Israel, they expected Him to be some ruling king. They expected Him to come in with a tank and a crown. But He did not. No wonder they all turned on Him at the end. Here was the promised one, doing nothing they understood Him to do. Here was the Messiah taking crap and getting killed. Here was the Anointed One being betrayed for 30 pieces of silver.

That did not fit the theology of the time. Not even John the Baptist saw it. He even questioned Jesus' authenticity. Why? Because they all have read, had been taught, had expected the Messiah to come and do what the Word said He would. Do you see it. How often do I read the word, study the mysteries of God and walk away with some wrong view or thoughts about who God is or what He does.

How do I know they are wrong, because my experience tells me so. When life contradicts my understanding of the Bible, I need to clean my glasses and get a fresh look.

Many people fail to reexamine their thoughts in the light of their experience. They never come to a point where they say, maybe I was wrong in how I read or understood that verse. Maybe my way of seeing that Scripture is off.

I want 1 John 3:22 to be the reality of my life, but it is not. Or maybe it is. The truth is I don't get it.

When my life experiences contradicts what I understand the Bible to say then I will take refuge in what I do know to be true and let the mysteries draw me into the adventure of discovering the heart and love of God.