finite

I am not promised tomorrow. I have no guarantee of health. In fact, I am 100% sure that one day I will die. "One day" - I don't know when or how, but it is coming. As I was cutting the grass yesterday I was thinking about all the adventures and experiences that I have had in life; all of them the result of a choice. Also thinking about how I have taken for granted my very breath. Always expecting tomorrow, as if I was owed it. Never aware of the frailty of my existence, the grace and love that gives me breath, and the Father who blesses me with the joys and pains of life.

I sit hear and ask myself, "Am I making good choices? Will I be remembered by my family as a wonderful, irreplaceable father, kind and loving husband, and considerate neighbor? Or will the memories of me be that of worried, preoccupied, never satisfied, scared, workaholic, selfish, always in pursuit of trying to find himself, never having time for the family, always concerned about the next phase of life without fully embracing this one? Do I pursue my wants at the expense of love and kindness? Must I have and obtain through compromise and hurting of others?

The end is a sobering reality, the ultimate measuring stick, and for some a jolting wake up call. Did I live today with no regrets? More importantly did I love with passion, courage, and hope, positively impacting those also on this journey or did I let fear and nearsightedness get the most of me as I hurt those around so that I could be someone?

Psalm 90 - Teach me to number my days so that I may grow in wisdom.
Psalm 39 - Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days.